Dating is always fun if you do not end up with some sticky situation leaving you confused and indecisive about your future. Reading this would have left most of you confused and worried deciding if your dating relationship is healthy. Don’t worry ! Presenting you with the best ground rules of a healthy dating relationship. Make a checklist to add up to identify if you are dating healthy or unhealthy !

1. Commitment -
   

   “There’s a difference between interest and commitment. When you’re interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permits. When you’re committed to something, you accept no excuses, but only results.”

   The ultimate stage for any date is getting serious in the relationship, which may develop into a lifelong commitment and end up in marriage. The various stages would include, understanding each others likes, dislikes, building emotional make up, understanding habits, getting engaged in frequent quarrels and pleadings. With time, if your compatibility reaches a pinnacle, its time for you to strengthen it. This is the best option to find if you are dating healthy.

   – “Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach”.

2. Respect -
   

   “Love should be distributed only to those who earn your respect.”

   ‘Respect’ should be in each other’s place for each other. Actions and words both can decide the respect for each other. You must first learn each other as respectable human beings, who can cry, think, talk, smile, feel and speak. Secondly respect each other as partners, basing on your independence, limitations, boundaries, feelings. Personal values and principles of life should never be questioned. Start with a ‘no’ with small things. Say ‘no’ to drinks in your first few dates. Say ‘no’ to sexual relationship if persuaded by the other partner. “No”, here is the boundary that must be honored by both.

   - “We also have a very high level of love and respect for each other”.

3. Trust -
   

   “Trust me, this is a problem we love having.”

   Trust is a must for a successful relationship. Without mutual trust, faith and belief a relationship is not a relationship. You must show you are dependable, honourable and responsible for the opposite partner. This will make your date a safe and secure one. If you subtract trust from your relationship, suspicion and jealousy will add up. Comfort, love and care will be substituted by the fear and desperation. You will end up in dissected conversations and ungrateful questions. Trustworthy and trustful partners are healthy. Your relationship should not say

   , “I really would have liked to love, but I didn’t trust myself to allow it”.

   - “To be trusted is a greater complement than to be loved”

4. Support -

   No relation is static nor the individuals involved in it. The fear of rejection may sometime restrict you from disclosing mistakes or even hardships. A healthy relation must be a strong support in your life. This is the best way to overcome bad times easily. Your partner should not be with you when you are happy, he should also be while you mourn.

   - “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard”.

5. Equality -
   

   “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed”.

   “To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides”.

   Compromise and asserting independence should be equally maintained. you must give equal space to your partners. Unnecessary controlling is undoubtedly the warning sign of an intimate violence. Both parents must put their 100% into the relationship to be successful. if one partner is taking the bulk and the other remaining indifferent, then definitely its an unhealthy one.

   - “Perfect love cannot be without equality”.

6. Communication -
   

   “To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.”

   Right communication over good communication shares a very narrow boundary, which you need to differentiate. It is the right communication which is the secret of a healthy relationship. Communication is the only way to know your partner better. You will know what will keep you happy and what will not ? You must be comfortable to put your thoughts and views effectively.

   - “Communication is depositing a part of yourself in another person.”

7. Laughter -
   

   “Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”

   As you start getting serious and intense in your relationship, you start sharing many silliness, and inside jokes. You start incorporating plenty of laughter. This will keep all your tensions and stress away. You will be able to share.

   “Nothing shows a man’s character more than what he laughs at.”

8. Forgiveness -
   

   “He who is devoid of the power to forgive, is devoid of the power to love.”

   Secrets are never welcome in a serious relationship. To avoid secrets, avoid doing things that are needed to be kept as secrets. Past things can be left in the past, only if there is no chance it can come back into your life. Because there is no meaning in scratching the wound again and affecting the healing process. It is up to you, how to maintain your trust and secrets with your partner.

   “When women love us, they forgive us everything, even our crimes; when they do not love us, they give us credit for nothing, not even our virtues.”

9. Friendship -

   Friendship is the best start in each relationship. Lovers must be friends to each other to have something to talk and laugh and grow the comfort between both. But it is never necessary that friends should be lovers !

   “Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes.”

10. Safety -
    

    “Ah me! love can not be cured by herbs.”

    How secure do you feel with your partner ? Because safety will make you available for yourself to give love and to make your relationship work. You must always in need of the presence of your partner.

11. Interest Level -
    

    “When love is not madness, it is not love.”

    A healthy date will always show interest in your life. He would be curious to know “what’s going on in your life ?” If you find a person only boasting about himself, his activities, his aspiration but paying least or little interest in your feelings, your talks, your activities and aspirations, then definitely he is not your perfect healthy date. This can be a warning sign. Because this interest then grows into care and then into a love tree.

12. Ability To Disagree -
    

    “Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in its defense.”

    What do you do when you need to disagree on something ? Are you afraid to put forward your thoughts to your magic man. Don’t be afraid. Putting your thoughts cannot end up a healthy relationship. The disagreement may get emotional involving strong feelings, but if you both are capable of recovering from such an unavoidable situation, then you can think your in in correct hands.

13. Time Apart -
    

    “Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.”

    Do you feel anxiety when you both are apart ? A small time apart should not cause any disruption in your relationship. Anxiety and insecure feelings are all signs of low self-esteem. Such people always need your presence and support. You must be confident and must have trust in your choice.

Girls who are very fond of dating, are sometimes afraid of going for a date. They fear of how to behave, how to stand, how to sit, how to start a conversation, how to answer, how to put your point in front of your date, how to eat, how to drink, how to order and lot more. But the basic question is how to manage yourself on a date ?

Find the top 5 dating etiquettes in Women:

1. Unlock the silence with confidence as the key -

   You may have lot of tensions in your mind. Your prime focus may be losing those ugly ten pounds from your weight ! You might be stressed thinking of your hair cut ! Do not bring them in front of your date. Take away all your stresses from your mind before going to meet your date. Do not even think about your imperfections, even if you have a significant one. Because chances are very low if he is even making a note of it. He would be busy focusing on your beast features. Show off a little about your best attributes and throw away any self-doubts. Confidence and women is the most sexy combination.

2. Axe Your Ex -

   Even if you are still hung up with your ex-, try to keep him out of your sight. Specifically, when you are with your new date. “No matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, you’ll never get through it without a new one”. Imagine you hearing about your date’s ex- super-sexy girlfriend ! Uhhhh ! I know how undeserving and ungrateful experience can it be. You would probably never like to listen to it. So think you chatting about your ex- to your current one. So get your ex- chopped from your life.

3. Don’t Overdo Drinks -

   “Think about it. If you are single, after graduation there isn’t one occasion where people celebrate you … Hallmark / Archies won’t make a “congratulations, you didn’t chose the wrong guy” card. And where’s the flatware for going on vacation alone?” Dating ‘can be fun’ but not always ‘for fun’! Avoiding drinking in first 1 or 2 date meets is better. You would make a note of your date’s intentions and behaviour better. It may be tempting to drink those green apple flavored drinks, on the rocks special, but still control your senses and taste buds. You may be feeling you are having ultimate fun but you can land in dirty mess; if your date is found playing with you for some reason. Avoid such sticky situations.

4. Some Silence Are Golden -

   “I’m looking for love. Real love!!! Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love !!! But beware this love is not always available everywhere”. You may feel a lateral bonding with your first date. You may meet someone and feel connected since your past life. You would have tons of things in common, You may sometimes run out of words, out of reasons to talk. Do not compel yourself to fill the silence moments. Flash a smile. Slide an inch closer to your date. Allow your expressions and gestures speak.

5. Graceful ‘The Ends’ -

   “After a while, you just want to be with the one that makes you laugh.” Think a while. Why are you in this relationship ? Are you true in your feelings ? Make another thought “Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?” What answer do you get ? Are you advancing for a commitment ? How do you find your compatibility ?
   If your feelings are getting sour and you are strong in your feelings thinking he’s not the correct man to be in your life. Then just step out. Do not hesitate such a relationship that can be a burden to you. But restrict being hasty and rude. Pay half of your bill. Smile sweetly and end with a friendly handshake. Do thank him for the evening and leave gracefully.

• Strategy of Pornography is ‘Fantasy’.
• The logic behind pornography is ‘making the viewers sexually excited‘.
• The Motto of Pornography is ‘selling sex‘.

What Do You Find In Pornography ?

Pornography is all about illusion which young, innocent minds like yours are unable to understand.

Why You Use Pornography ?

Hope you are not addicted ! Taking time to think ? Are you a Sex-addict ? Is it only fun that is making you look at such meaningless and unethical materials or you cannot live without it ?

Where Can You Find Pornography ?

Teens do not find pornography. In fact, pornography finds teenagers, even in cases where they do not look for it. The reason is Internet, which is an unavoidable part of each teen’s life. Porn sites are very easily available even searching for simple topics. And specifically, the chat rooms are the worst place to get exposed to the pornography.

Is Pornography Harmful To Teens ?

Most of you will not agree with me but would definitely take a thought in your mind. Isn’t it ? But its the bitter truth that really cannot be avoided. Its the hormones, that make you all teenagers so confused and curious for every new thing. This is the age of puberty, a very impressionable age at which most teens get interested in talking about sex and looking at pictures and things representing sex and sex symbols. Most teens get exposed to pornography due to their eagerness at such age.

All teens who watch pornographic are not always addicted but most of them of course develop into sex addicts. Their innocence and childhood gets lost within the dirty game of the sex industry. The teen boys within the age group of 12-17 are the targets for the porn industry. They tend to become their lifelong customers even after they grow old.

The porn industry preys on such minds and earns out of them. Every second, thousands of dollars are spent on pornography. But exposure to a dirty aspect of sex at such an early age can be harmful. Teens have been seen to get fascinated over the exposure to pornography and start experimenting with sex. Obviously, ‘playing with sex‘ at an early age can have serious consequences. Because ’sex’ for them is just a ‘fun element‘. The real meaning and aestheticism is lost.

• The effects have been seen to be progressive ending up with addictions. Teen boys have been found engaged in oral sex commonly.
• The higher exposure can increase the risk of sexual assaults, child molestation and rape in teens.
• The most deadly consequence is the increasing number of sexually transmitted diseases amongst the teenagers. In the US, at least 1 out of every 4 girls who are sexually active has been found infected with some kind of sexually transmitted disease.
• Most of us may not agree, but it is a fact that pornography can cause stress on teen minds. Many teenagers have been found suffering from self-esteem issues. It can hamper their growth and mental development.
• Pornographic viewing conveys ” Women is valued only for her body. The feeling of lust is the only reason for which a woman is admired, loved and cared. This can be reason of depression and onset of several eating disorders in many teen girls.
• Pornography teaches avoiding the need of living the whole life with one dedicated person and cheating in relationships.
• Unplanned pregnancies is another alarming concern worldwide. Which is of course a consequence of pornography.
• The education and career also goes for a toss.

“my parents were orthodox and conservative;

they tried to rule my life and take away my freedom;

they tried to poke into my personal matters and privacy;

they do not trust me and being over-protective;

they are misusing their power to make me feel that I am a kid, I have no brains, I cannot do things on my own, I need to follow their path, I cannot make decisions

and lots more …”

I am doubly sure that most teens would definitely agree with me on this never ending list of complaints. But I realized things like – “how it were and how it should have been; why it were this way and why not the way I wanted; who was wrong and who was right”; as I grew older out of my teen mind.

It was very obvious and needed at that time. Parents were never our enemies. They are our well-wishers. As long as we are with them, we are their responsibilities and of course ! we are born out of them, so we are very precious to them in every way. They would never want us to be in any problem in our life. They also would have passed through the same feelings when they were teens. So they can understand things better and have a broader outlook towards life. But we teens, as per our mind set and of course the immature brains forced us to behave this way. Its not a fault made by anybody. Its the age, the surrounding, the aggressive blood, the youthful energy; that creates the chaos.

Lets magnify the picture taking few examples. How many of you think their “parents are tough to be dealt with” ? How many of you think “parents scold us for any reason and anything we do” ? “Parents do not understand the present scenario and the fashion trends.” How many would agree on this ? How many parents say “my children are spoilt and are of no use“? “How many teen feel the problem is a “generation gap“? Uhhh…! I know most of you would agree to it. In fact I also agree, because I also used to think the same when I was a teen. And trust me ! there’s nothing unusual about it.

But I feel its is a mutual thing which can be sorted out with an effective communication between both. I remember few of my age-mates during those days used to be their parents pet at home and also would enjoy life to the fullest with us. They never used to complain of their strict, conservative and protective parents. Instead they used to say their parents were very open-minded, broad-thinkers, lively and welcome new things in life. But this never mentioned that their parents used to set them free for all odds, not have a closer look into their child’s life nor check what is wrong and what is right. Of course, they did all of them but in a very effective way, which most parents do not do taking time and patience.

Such things have made a narrow boundary between two categories of parents; the Door Slammers and the Door Openers. Who are the Door Openers ? The door openers do not show immediate responses conveying a judgement or a behavior. And the Door Slammers stands just the opposite. lets consider a few lines to distinguish if your parents are Door Openers or
Door Slammers.

Are Your parents a Door Opener ?
Do they start with -

“What do you think about the …?”,

“Would you please tell little more about …?”

“Oh ! That’s a good question. Well, …”,

“As of now I don’t have any idea about it, but I’ll try to find out …”,

“I would like to hear whatever you are saying”,

“Have you ever given a serious thought about what it ?”,

” Does that sounds important to you ?”,

“Shall we talk about it ?”

and many more such open-ended talks.

Hope your parents do not use lines like –

“You are a kid, you should not do this”,

You are too young to understand”,

“If you say that again, you will be …”,

“Mind your own business”,

“That’s none of your business”,

“I care a dam what your friends are doing!”

It does not matter what they are doing ?”,

“We’ll talk on it when I would like to”,

“That’s just for boys (or girls)”,

“Who are you to ask me that ?”,

“Why do you want to know that ?”,

“I don’t need to answer you on that”,

“You don’t need to know about that”,

“Don’t come to me after you …”

If they use any of the above lines, then you are blessed with Door Slammers !

Dating is an art. Speed dating is little more creative than the usual dating. Not everybody can manage it. This kind of dating has gained popularity since the late 90’s. People who are very sporty and have eagle eyes in finding the perfect romantic match among the group of strangers are very few in numbers. Mostly, they chose new people, new venues and new occasions to start with new relationships.

Speed dating was a concept evolved by Rabbi Yaacov Deyo, who wanted to use speed dating to help the Jewish singles to meet their love partner. This was started in the early 90’s and gained pace after being featured in the television shows like “Sex and the City,” and films like “Hitch.” Various religious groups and church groups have got engaged in sponsoring speed dating. Else, more often, bars, pubs, discotheques are the venues where speed dating is a common phenomena. The set up of the venue is done after a lot of research. It must be large in size. The large area should be able to occupy chairs and tables to accommodate quick-moving couples. There they sit, chat, compare hearts and share feelings.

Rules Of Speed Dating :

The rules and the game are very simple. Of course ! it is dependent on the host and the crowd. The women are allowed to sit while men are requested to move from chair to chair. The starting couple is given with a couple of minutes to share some their ideas and talks. Within this time, they will have to measure their compatibility with the other partner. Once the time is over, a signal will be given or a bell will be rung. Then the man is made to move to the next seat (or you can say to the next lady). The men and women both will be given a paper and a pen. They will mark on the paper about those individuals with whom they had felt a spark. The host then collects the paper and matches. When the paper results is common in both sides, the success is gained.

So folks ! you can also plan out some speed dating games at your place and invite singles. But be aware do not play too fast. Its just for fun not always a perfect decision.

Time Frame -

Do you know about the menstrual cycle of your partner. before indulging into any sexual activities, if you get to know about her menstrual periods, you may take a step in avoiding pregnancy. Usually a girl becomes pregnant only after 2 weeks of her last menstrual cycle. From here the pregnancy will last for almost a 40 weeks. These 40 weeks are divided into three periods:-

1. The first trimester (starting from the 1st week to the end of the 12 week)
2. The second trimester (starting from the beginning of the 13th week to the end of the 26th week)
3. Third trimester (starting from the beginning of the 27th week till the end of the pregnancy).

Doctor Appointments -

Appointments with doctor are a must. You and your girl may be ashamed and restricted by your mind to see a doctor. But do not let that happen. Whatever has happened is already over, think about going forward with your decision and living your life accordingly. You must see a doctor once in every month. This must be done as a habit from the very beginning since pregnancy is confirmed. You will be required to see the doctor more often as the due date nears. A weekly visit may be needed towards the end of the third trimester.
In case, your partner is at any risk during her pregnancy due to her age, size, medical history or health complication. support her. Consult health provider very often and follow their guidelines strictly.
An ultrasound test may be done to detect the size, growth, health and conditions of the baby.
You need to follow the doctor’s guidelines to keep your girl and your baby away from any problems.

Symptoms -

How to doubt if your girl is pregnant. Check with her if she is having any delay in her menstrual periods. Because the first confirmatory test is the absence of periods during pregnancy. Check with her if she is complaining of nausea and vomiting. It can start at any time during pregnancy, which is often termed as Morning sickness. Symptoms like fatigue, cravings for food, tenderness in breasts, aches and pains and headaches can be felt during pregnancy.

Considerations -

You must consider telling your parents about the pregnancy. Its not only about your parents but also the parents of your partner. Of course they have a right to know whatever is going on in their child’s life. I know this is very difficult, but have to be done. In extreme cases, parents at both sides may ask you both to move out. Think about alternate arrangements to live. Because sex might be a matter of fun for you at your age, but the consequences is no more a fun element. You need to have some guidance from elder ones.

Choices -

Make choices and take decision for your baby’s mother, baby and you. Basic three options available to you are:-

• raise the baby on your own,
• put the baby up for adoption,
• have an abortion

Any of the above decision you take would change your entire life. After all its your baby, your blood, your portion. Be very supportive in whatever decision, your girl takes. In case, you both clash in decision, do not argue or fight. try to convince her by putting forward your thoughts, the demerits and clues to support your decision.

Support -

Your support will be the gift of a lifetime which your girl friend would need during her entire pregnancy.

Above all this, teen boys and girls this is a lesson for you. Do not indulge in sexual activities unless you are completely aware of what it is ? ‘Safe Sex’ is the best option to prevent pregnancy.

What is Kava tea?
The root of the kava plant is ground into a powder, mixed with water and consumed as a beverage.

Kava beverages is a popular social drink in the South Pacific region. Now, kava bars are springing up in the United States offering a variety of kava teas, juices and coffees.

Kava tea has many therapeutic uses:

• Kava tea is a powerful herbal antispasmodic especially useful for relieving nervous tension.
• Kava Kava is an anti-anxiety herb that almost instantly dissipates effects of many fears and apprehensions.
• It is an effective diuretic with anti-pathogenic properties.
• Kava tea is a carminative that improves appetite and digestion.

Kava Kava is also be used to treat rheumatism, asthma, worms, obesity, headaches, fungal infections, gonorrhea, vaginal infections, urinary infections, menstrual problems, migraine headaches, and insomnia.
Mild side effects of Kava tea include:

Numbing of the mouth, unpleasant taste, nausea, headache, drowsiness, and dizziness. Excessive consumption over a period of several weeks or months causes a temporary yellowing of the skin, hair and nails, red eyes, gastrointestinal complaints, loss of appetite, breathing problems and dry and peeling skin. These side effects were relieved upon discontinuation of the drink.

It isn’t known if kava tea – which contain a less concentrated form of the herb – carries a risk of liver failure. The concern about liver damage mainly involves kava in its concentrated supplement form. So, don’t make it an addiction.

What are the harmful effects of kava tea?

• Drinking too much kava tea can cause intoxication and impair your ability to drive.
• Signs and symptoms of intoxication include drowsiness, blurred vision and muscle weakness.
• Also, mixing alcohol with kava can increase these effects.
• One side-effect connected to the heavy consumption of kava is that of kava dermopathy – a scaly eruption of the skin. This goes away if use is stopped and is quite harmless.

Teens should avoid consumption of kava tea, unless for medicinal purposes:

Not for use by persons under 18 years of age.

Moderate consumption of kava tea does not appear to be particularly harmful, but over-use or habitual use of kava can lead to side effects as indolence, weakness, leg paralysis, and a scaly skin rash, which is said to be reversible when kava consumption is discontinued–as long as the consumption has not been very high over a prolonged period.

Warning:

• Consult a health professional before drinking kava tea if you have liver problems, frequently use alcoholic beverages, or taking any other medication.
• Not for use with alcoholic beverages. Excessive use, or use with products that cause drowsiness, may impair your ability to drive a vehicle.
• Kava tea should not be taken on a daily basis. Take frequent breaks from use. Short term side effect with high doses include disorientation and ataxia (loss of balance while walking).

Alcohol poisoning is deadly; alcohol flows up to the brain, depriving it of oxygen. The brain, struggling to deal with the overdose of alcohol and lack of oxygen, begins to gradually shut down the voluntary vital functions that regulate breathing and heart rate. A fatal dose of alcohol will eventually stop these functions.

When large amounts of alcohol is consumed in a short period, alcohol poisoning can result.

Why are teens more prone to alcohol poisoning?

• Teenagers are still immature to set limits to the amount of alcohol their body can take. By the time they stop, deadly amounts have been consumed.
• Rapid binge drinking (which often happens on a bet) is especially popular among teenagers. They can easily can ingest a fatal dose before becoming unconscious.
• Family tensions, relationship break-ups make them vulnerable to drinking excessive amounts at one go, rather than handling such situations in a more mature way.
• Wrong company of friends, ‘just trying once’ concept – teens get easily trapped in such situations without knowing the dire consequences.
• At times, teens try to emulate what they see on television – the sexy, macho image of an adult heavily into alcohol drinking. They falsely think that alcohol creates that macho built.

What are the signs you should look for alcohol poisoning:

• Person is known to have consumed large quantities of alcohol in a short period of time.
• Person is unconscious and cannot be awakened. No response to pinching the skin.
• Person has cold, unusually pale or bluish skin.
• Vomiting while sleeping.
• Breathing is slow or irregular.

As a result, what can be the repercussions:

• Victim chokes to death on own vomit.
• Breathing slows, becomes irregular, stops
• Heart beats irregularly or stops
• Hypothermia (low body temperature) leads to cardiac arrest
• Hypoglycemia (too little blood sugar) leads to seizures

Even if the victim lives, alcohol poisoning can lead to irreversible brain damage.

If you are a teen, what is your responsibility to reduce such mishaps:

• Refuse to take part or host underage drinking parties.
• Try to be a role model for your friend who you know is heavily into binge drinking.
• Learn the danger signals – seek help as soon as you see a victim of alcohol poisoning.
• Do not wait for all symptoms to be present.

In addition, teen drinking is associated with an increased likelihood of developing alcohol dependence later in life. Early intervention is essential to prevent the development of serious alcohol problems in later stages of life..

Why do teens take to alcohol?

• The popularity of binge drinking among teens. Binge drinking is defined as when a guy drinks five or more alcoholic beverages in a row
• Sometimes it’s a form of rebellion, the ‘I don’t care attitude’
• Maybe they just want to associate themselves with a particular group of friends, or start boozing under peer pressure.
• Some teenagers see drinking as part of their identity. They think alcohol makes them more macho, sexy, independent or grown-up.
• Since alcohol blocks emotional pain, it is frequently resorted to as a “cover up” during times of ongoing stress such as that experienced with the loss of a loved one, family conflicts.
• Psychological factors – Low self-esteem and depression make one vulnerable to excessive drinking and alcoholism.

Alcohol and Teens: why should they be kept apart?

Physical effects of alcohol -
Since most teenagers are not fully grown, the effects of alcohol on them happens more quickly and seriously than with full-grown adults.

The expected physical effects of alcohol are:

• Reduced or increased blood flow, dehydration
• Impairment of thoughts
• Extreme emotional reactions and hyper-excitement
• Inadequate muscle coordination; and
• Slowed or altered speech.

When consumed over long periods of time or in extreme doses, alcohol can severely affect an individual, causing brain and/or liver damage, coma or even death.

Other effects:

• Non-consequential thinking and related activities
• Drunk driving – Teens may be more prone to drive while intoxicated due to a lack of understanding of the consequences This can result in bodily harm through accidents.
• Physical or emotional abuse of others
• Unplanned sexual relations or sexual assault in many cases

What parents must do to help their child:
Family factors, such as parent-child relationships, discipline methods, communication, monitoring and supervision, and parental involvement exert a significant influence on teen alcohol use/abuse.

• Talk to your child: Talk with your teenager child about the dangers of drinking. Discuss the side effects of even one drink
• Strike a deal, drinking should not be discrete – There is a chance your child will drink at some point before he or she is 21 years old. Reassure your child that if he does drink, you will not be angry, but he must reveal it.
• Discuss the dangers of drinking and driving – Tell your child to never drink and drive. In fact, if found drinking and driving, take away his license.
• Be a role model – quit drinking if you yourself are addicted to it.

Parents are the best help available to keep/make their kids alcohol free.

Why do teens take up smoking?
Most teenagers don’t know why they took to smoking. However, adolescents turn to tobacco for a variety of reasons:

• Sometimes it’s a form of rebellion, the ‘I don’t care attitude’,
• Maybe they just want to associate themselves with a particular group of friends, or start puffing under peer pressure.
• They may believe cigarettes will improve their concentration or help them lose weight.
• Low self – esteem.
• A parent or close relative smokes.
• Some teenagers see smoking as part of their identity. They think smoking may turn them more macho, independent.

Do not make the mistake of using smoking as a form of rebellion! You will only be at a loss:

Teenagers crave to be adults, to take their place in society and to be a full adult member. They take smoking as an adult activity. The reason teens smoke to be more adult is because rebelling is the sign of being an adult. Parents tell children not to smoke. Teenagers smoke to prove to their parents they have the authority to make their own choices.

A better way out is to teach them make good choices, let teens make their own choices and bear the consequences of their own mistakes.

Once taken a first puff, there is never a last puff !

• Cigarettes contain Nicotine which is extremely addictive in nature. Nicotine increases the release of a number of brain chemicals (neurotransmitters), which are associated with pleasure, a feeling of euphoria, appetite suppression and relaxation.
• Most adolescents believe they can quit smoking anytime they want. But they become just as addicted to nicotine as adults do. In fact, adolescents become addicted at relatively low doses of nicotine. A teenager who smokes just one cigarette a day may have withdrawal symptoms when he or she tries to quit.

Role of Parents!

• Talk about health consequences and the cost
  Lecturing or warning about the evils of tobacco does more harm than good. A better approach is to focus on problems that cigarettes may be causing them presently -
  • Chronic coughing
  • Reduced stamina
  • Bad breath

  Another factor is the expense. The cost of a pack of cigarettes a day would buy two movie tickets or a pizza. Which is a better option?

• Be a good model yourself
  If you smoke, quitting is one of the best things you can do to help keep your children off cigarettes.
  If you can’t, do the next best thing:
  • Don’t smoke in your children’s presence.
  • Avoid smoking in the house or car.
  • Don’t offer cigarettes to your children.
• Counter the smoking charisma
To counteract the glamourized image of cigarette smoking in advertisements and movies, show how smoking has affected the health of your relatives and friends. Show them that all ads carry a statutory warning about the ill effects of smoking.

Since smoking is highly addictive, ask yourself – ‘What do I want to become in life – a smoker?’

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